I found this story about the Florida tornadoes this morning.

First, sorry about the tornadoes. Sometimes I’m making it rain and I just get a little carried away with the clouds and all. I probably should have been more careful, but I was kind of distracted watching a late-night rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond. Anyway, long story short, I flattened the Church of Me in Lady Lake, Florida.

It’s not like this is the first time I ever smote a house of worship. The real story here is the pastor, who decided to hold services the next morning anyway. Here he is standing on the rubble:

My creations never cease to amaze me. No matter what unconscionable thing I do to them, they just thank Me for not doing something even worse. Case in point, here’s a related prayer:

Dear Lord,

I will never under stand why You chose, in Your infinenit (spell your prayers right, people) wisdom, to take away our church. Was it somthing I did? Its ok though I love you anyway, and thanks for not doing it when I was inside. We’ll build You a new one soon!

(name withheld)

Some people just won’t take a hint, will they? I crush the place into a million little pieces, and they think I want them to remodel? The glass isn’t half full for these people, it’s half full of Everclear. And we all know where the other half went.

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