Hi Everybody, God Here

I feel a brief introduction is necessary. For thousands of years, people have been speaking out on My behalf. The only one I had actually authorized, Nicholas Standish, tried to spread My word on the corner of Cromwell and Fulham in London in 1926. In retrospect, I should have picked someone with better hygiene, someone less likely to be stoned to death. But I digress.

Today I was sitting in front of the new 200-inch plasma TV in my living room (we get all the cool gadgets sooner in Heaven) watching the Super Bowl with Allah and the Flying Spaghetti Monster. We saw this commercial for cheap domain names on GodAddy.com and I thought, “You know what? We could start a blog!” I’m not great with computers, but if Britney Spears can have a blog, anybody can do it. I was disappointed that “God.com” was already taken, but c’est la vie, eh?

I don’t know why I never spoke out sooner. Laziness, I guess. Creating the Universe can really poop a guy out. I just never felt like getting out of My cozy throne in Heaven to putz around the campaign trail, you know? But now that we’ve got the Internet I can spread my word from my own desk, and with blogging software I don’t even need to learn HTML.


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