A disappointing story on Yahoo News begins:

Tens of thousands of French schools and universities have received copies of a Turkish book refuting Darwin’s theory of evolution and describing it as “the true source of terrorism.”

Apparently some sorely misguided followers of Mine, who are ashamed of My endorsement of jihad, are trying to let Charles Darwin steal my thunder! This is an outrage!

I inspired the people of Arabia to expand from Mecca to Morocco and Madrid, taking the lands at the point of the sword. Oceans have blood have been spilled in my name, and thousands of jihadists proudly carry on that tradition today. Darwin, what has he done? Organized some finches? Give me a break.

Take a wild guess who wrote these passages, Me or Darwin:

Fight those who do not believe in Allah…nor follow the religion of truth, out of those who have been given the Book, until they pay the tax in acknowledgment of superiority and they are in a state of subjection.

…those who leave their homes for the cause of Allah, and are then slain or die, Allah will, surely, provide for them a goodly provision…

…when you meet in battle those who disbelieve, then smite the necks until when you have overcome them, then make (them) prisoners, and afterwards either set them free as a favor or let them ransom (themselves) until the war terminates…(as for) those who are slain in the way of Allah…

Be not fainthearted then; and invite not the infidels to peace when ye have the upper hand: for God is with you, and will not defraud you of the recompense of your works…

We have reason to believe, as stated in the first chapter, that a change in the conditions of life, by specially acting on the reproductive system, causes or increases variability; and in the foregoing case the conditions of life are supposed to have undergone a change, and this would manifestly be favourable to natural selection, by giving a better chance of profitable variations occurring; and unless profitable variations do occur, natural selection can do nothing.

Give up? Okay, they’re all Mine… except the last one. That’s Darwin. Who sounds like He deserves the credit for terrorism now?

I really don’t want this blame shifting to get out of hand. Today, it’s terrorism. Which of my achievements will they be crediting to Darwin tomorrow? Getting a bunch of men — living, straight, testosterone-producing men — to make their women wear the least revealing clothes on the planet? That’s the greatest practical joke of all time, and if I hear one Muslim try to give Darwin the credit for that one, My head’s going to explode.

Maybe I’ll have a talk with God later and see what he does about these “blame Darwin” loons. I know he’s been dealing with them in America for a while.

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