Debbie Schlussel Inspires New Commandment from God
The vapid conservative heroine who condemned atheists on CNN last week has answered their bitter reaction with a post on her blog so insightful it validates almost every blonde joke in the books:
Something happened over the last 24 hours. Beginning last night, my inbox became populated with vile hate-mail from atheists. No skin off my back.
But it is entertaining and amusing. It’s hard to believe their letters because they were all attacking me for my appearance on CNN’s “Paula Zahn Now,” a week ago, but coincidentally each letter claims the sender just watched me on CNN. First of all, the video of that segment appears nowhere on the net. Believe me, if it did, I’d link to it.
I commend Debbie for resisting the temptation to learn about technology, for not following George W. Bush down the path of sin that leads to discovering the Google on the Internets. Had she taken that road, she might have Googled “Paula Zahn atheists” and noticed that a YouTube video of her appearance is the top search result. This brings Me to the first of many New Commandments I hope to deliver through My blog. It shall be known hereafter as the Schlussel Commandment:
Thou shalt not research thine claims.
Getting your facts right leads to nothing but trouble, and if taken far enough can drive you to atheism. Instead, make something up to please Me, and you shall be rewarded, but only after you die. No, really. Trust Me.
I don’t mind receiving the atheist hate mail, since I know that in a few years, many of these same people will either be Muslim extremists (redundant) or helping the country fall further in its fight against the creep of Islamic imposition on America
Right on! Atheists and Muslims hold the exact same ideology, which is that My nephew Jesus is not their saviour. There is a very fine line between complete rejection of all things supernatural and devout acceptance of the world’s most elaborate and demanding major religion. Nobody is more susceptible to Allah’s propaganda than people who see through Mine, and people who don’t want to go to church once a week are dying to kneel on a magic carpet and pray toward Mecca five times a day.
Debbie is so smart for pointing that out. I’m glad CNN realized she belongs on an expert panel, while a lesser network might have assigned her to a straightjacket. Unfortunately their good judgement did not last — they’ve called noted atheist Richard Dawkins to appear in rebuttal on the same show tonight at 8:00pm. What can this Oxford professor and evolutionary biologist, with his “doctorates” in “zoology” possibly have to add to a discussion about the origins of life that has not already been covered by this Wisconsin-educated lawyer?
Look at famous atheists and what happened to them. Adam Gadahn a/k/a Azzam Al-Amriki–now a top Al-Qaeda video “personality”–was raised by his hippie Jewish father and equally bizarre gentile mother as an atheist. And look how he turned out. Ditto for hippie-spawn John Walker Lindh.
Debbie again follows My newest Commandment, refusing to let facts get in the way of a good point. While Adam Gadahn was a Christian of Jewish descent who converted to Islam and John Walker Lindh was a Catholic who converted to Islam, Debbie doesn’t let that stop her from listing these two men to show how all atheists run off to join Islamic terrorists. Even I couldn’t be that illogical, and I wrote the Bible for chrissake. If she had limited herself to the facts, she would have had to write something like this:
Look at famous atheists and what happened to them. Douglas Adams, Lance Armstrong, Isaac Asimov, Dave Barry, Warren Buffett, Francis Crick, Richard Feynman, Jodie Foster, Bill Gates, H.P. Lovecraft, Sir Ian McKellen, Jack Nicholson, Ron Reagan Jr., Carl Sagan, Steve Wozniak…
That’s almost enough to make Me not believe in Me — imagine what it would do if the public knew! This leads Me to a clarification I’ve been meaning to make about one of My original Ten Commandments:
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
This one has been taken way out of context and interpreted as, “Thou shalt not lie.” Why do you think I put against your neighbor in there? It’s okay to lie about other people. Also, if you’re doing it to promote My word, you can go ahead and lie about your neighbor too.
More from Debbie:
… as I pointed out on CNN, atheists are on the attack against religion and G-d only when Christians and Jews are involved, not when Muslims and Islam are.
Pay attention, kids. This is the kind of divine statement you can only make if you resist the temptation of the Google!
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Hilarious post. I quoted a bit of it for my own little tirade. Keep up the great work your holiness. This is humor in the highest.
Fantastic post!!!! I’m bookmarking your blog NOW.
Man, I wish that bee-atch Schlussel would shut her pie-hole!!!
Holy Crap! This is my first time ever visiting this site and I must say, this is the greatest idea for a blog ever! I mean seriously, if God himself blogged, he’d do something like this.
Oh wait….
Awesome. I’m so glad to have found His holy blog. I shall return again and again for His widsom. Yarr!
dammit. my faith in people just dropped like 50%.
78%*
[...] read more | digg story Explore posts in the same categories: Uncategorized [...]
[...] I spoke too soon in praise of CNN. I wrote in My last post about devout windbag Debbie Schlussel, I’m glad CNN realized she belongs on an expert panel, [...]
Way to go, God… but I’m sorry to inform you that not all of us who were educated in Wisconsin are so willing to disregard facts… I mean, after all, we’re still not willing to teach creationism in schools under any guise.
I often wonder who is paying these people to claim they believe in God, and specifically Jesus.
I saw the above mentioned poofest a week or so age, on youtube, and I marveled at the fact that the panel was lacking an atheist. Lets bash the minority because we have control of the media and we can.
The thing that bothers me most about sheeple isn’t their belief in a supreme being, it is the self serving circular logic used to validate and perpetuate the myth of christianity. Anyone with the ability to think things through can easily discern fact from fiction. For example, the founding fathers of this country threw of the oppressive hand of government and religious control, and wrote the constitution and the bill of rights.
These documents were written so that each person could believe what they wanted to believe, and do so without fear of persecution for such beliefs. I created a wall between church and state so that religion, any religion could not manipulate governmental policy, or enact some national religion. This, my fellow sheeple is NOT A CHRISTIAN COUNTRY!!!!!!!!!!! tHERE MAY BE AN ASTRONOMICAL NUMBER OF CHRISTIANS IN AMERICA, BUT THE LAW IS CLEAR. WE THE PEOPLE GRANT THE GOVERNMENT THE POWER ONLY TO THE EXTENT THAT THEY REMAIN UNBIASED.
READ YOUR HISTORY BOOKS. i DOUBT THAT ANY OF THE PEOPLE ON THAT PANEL HAS EVER READ THE CONSTITUTION OR THE BILL OF RIGHTS.
In fact I know they haven’t. either that or the only obvious conclusion, is that the game is rigged. and they know that they can easily have a lynch mob hour every night of the week.
They argument that athiests just bash christians can be summed up simply by saying, YOU ARE THE ONLY RELIGION TRYING TO HIJACK THIS COUNTRY WITH YOUR DELUSIONAL RELIGIOUS PROPAGANDA AND HOLY WAR MENTALITY.
We, the level headed, critical thinkers of this world and particularly if this country are saying prayer does not belong in public schools because it fragments the population at the developmental level, when children are young. Also, It says that their is only one religion that is right for such reverence.
That is segregation, that is turning back the clock.
It is clear to me that that is the bought and paid for agenda in this country. To see Mr President standing in front of a twenty foot tall mural of some bearded white guy, Jesus would not have BEEN a WHITE GUY…….. saying God told him to do such and such……Are you F@#&ING KIDing me?!
But I digress…………Clinton got a blow job or whatever he got, he lied about it……….ok… we impeached him……….wow…………ok…In the last seven years this country has been turned into a fascist government nightmare.
And in a powder room somewhere right now someone is laughing because He knows he doesn’t believe in jesus or christianity, he believes in his own clan and his allies, the controlling forces of this planet. the other clans.
way to spin a web assholes. They know we see it for what it is, they just don’t care. They’ve got the guns and the money, and when the latte swilling sheeple finally see that they, with all of their financial and voting support, are just as unimportant and expendable as the rest of us, when they finally announce a state of marshal law, and this becomes a police state, maybe then they will realize, oh you know what,
they probably won’t even see it then.
Ben Franklin said something to the effect of;
When you sacrifice your freedom for a sense of security, you deserve neither.
P.S. I am a recovering Christian who is well versed in not only the bible, but in most published works of various religions. They all say the same thing, and in the bible, it talks about a tower called Babel. Any good Christian will read this and know what I am about to say.
God said, (or so they say) “Look what they have built, but they didn’t do it for me!” It says they were all of one accord. They were all speaking the same language. And God said, (or so they say) let us go down and confound their language and scatter them abroad.
Here is what I propose, and something tells me I am not alone in this, Why don’t all of the religious people in the world get together on one land mass and destroy eachother, or get your stories straight. I mean really, you can’t all be right, or maybe you can but you just can’t see it because you are reading the stories wrong and you don’t see their true purpose.
I tell you this, anyone who studies religion long enough, and properly, inevitably transcends religion.
Just goes to show how many blind faith believers their are.
And just so you know, God also said, (or so they say) He will say to those people, ”
I do not know you”.
Isn’t that right God?
Gary
Carpenter
Atheist
wow, my typos run rampant don’t they?
By the way, who can really lay claim the the source of morals and ethics?
They are in fact a product of the intellectual paradigm of the region in question. and so morals and ethics are different around the globe to varying degrees.
Not having a God idea does not mean I have no conscience.
It does not mean I have no moral compass.
I challenge any christian on the web to a religious debate, and I guarantee that they will either get angry first and walk away, start bashing atheists as a whole, or pull out the God card and tell me that there is no hope for me, and then go back to the other ninety-nine.
Bible reference……sorry
Gary
Carpenter
Atheist
Any takers?
The only objections I’ll make are the “Wisconsin educated lawyer” part and the blonde joke part. Wisconsin has a very good education system. There is no telling what this woman’s natural hair color was. Of course, these mistakes will do nothing to change my undying faith in you as the one true supreme supernatural being.
It is so important for everyone to realize that atheism and islam are basically on opposite ends of the – if you will – religious spectrum.
I think it’s funny when the lady corrects Paula on the approximate percentage of non – religious americans. 12% and growing fellow sodomists!!! Maybe Schlussel should think about Europe’s vicinity to North Africa and the Middle East when she considers the spread of Islam there. I Personally like the secular influence of many immigrants from the far East, but worry a little about the Christian influence from Mexican immigrants.
As if prayer in schools actually makes them safer.
[...] is a fantastic use of the Schlussel Commandment (thou shalt not research thine claims). If he had looked at some of the research suggesting humans [...]
Maybe just one day we will stop invoking the very grain of touting that Atheists have religious beliefs. I found that the Atheist like me on people’s door to preach is not going to do, but who would need the burden of it?
Curious, I had started a particular society for them and for the most part, they belong and include ALL those who protect some but leave the way to threaten dire consequences for you.
We have been constantly told, “I think they belong to do.” Similar views are the the whole world of their beliefs. Some time passes unprotected while indulging in man and friends.
Nothing there to go about sexual instincts that reflect impure mind, young (heck, even adults) people start associating guilt with what really is killing stem cell research, which is behind our jealousy to see what to do or don’t do. I had started the atheist hand-out, killing stem cell research even though that is only now where there is a lot of thinking.
However, I don’t knock on Sundays and not colored by religion, so society remains pure – it is important since it is that that the atheist handed out – sexuality. Yes!
They also thought it works best for the good, because we will cast aside these crutches, leave the “Save Yourself For Jesus” opinion in a sin, and finally abortion is only way that Jesus might work for this very one-sided world where gay living is the “only” way.
It’s My Life – and the world in future affects your choice, so don’t go about independently indulging in the only way that leads my atheist group.
This is your God being referred to from the most religious belief there is?
Hey,
I love what you’e doing!
Don’t ever change and best of luck.
Raymon W.
Looks Like Dallas is in trouble!
Phoenix might end up blowing them all away.
PHX vs. Det. Hmmm..Could be interesting?
What was that all about?
I’m very confused about this blog. Lots of
way off topic stuff here!
I’m not quite understanding what all
this is supposed to be about?
Must be me or something…
Wow!
I can’t believe the Pats got Randy Moss!
That is so cool. The rich get richer, again!
How green is the grass on the other side of the fence?
Not much. Don’t believe it I tell you.
Jerry
This one makes sence “One’s first step in wisdom is to kuesstion everything – and one’s last is to come to terms with everything.”
Just a short note to say I like your blog.
Good job and keep up the great work!
Kenneth
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I’m sorry, but you seem to be a bit delusional yourself. Do you think using facts, logic and critical thinking will sway theists? If they paid any attention to things like that, they wouldn’t be theists. Perhaps you are “preaching to the choir”?
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