I Really Like This One Kid
CNN is reporting on the latest medical miracle feel-good story for which I, again, have received full credit:
NEW YORK (AP) — Daniel Walker was on his final lap jogging in his high school gym class when he collapsed, his flawed heart giving out on him.
More than four days later, his heart at a standstill, kept alive by a bypass machine, it began beating again. The 17-year-old’s parents called it divine intervention. His physicians were no less amazed.
They’re right — it was all me. The father describes My intervention in more detail:
Walker’s father described his son’s recovery in spiritual terms. “God turned around, put His hand on my son, and recharged him,” said William Walker, 58, a retired sanitation worker.
Sick children are like rechargeable batteries. I can heal them whenever I want to, but I only felt like giving this one a miracle because he’s so much better than the other sick children out there, who are all a bunch of losers if you ask Me.
Anyone know who gave the kid a bum ticker in the first place?
Anyone?
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Was it you God? You are so mean.
26″So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. 27What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. 28Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29Are not two sparrows sold for a penny[d]? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. 30And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
32″Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. 33But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven.
Is that scripture or spam from a sparrow salesman?
Wrong God, I guess, they are your own words.
Dude! What’s up with the four-day wait?
Wait - were you out playing skeeball in Jersey again?
My aunt claims that her rhinoplasty was devine intervention.
Um, God?
About the crickets…
I haven’t the slightest clue as to what they mean — but, boy, are they freakin’ hilarious.
I have thoroughly enjoyed Your subtle, divine humor!
dNeb
There’s a common myth that I merely rested on the 7th day after building the Universe. That’s not quite true. I thought it was eerily silent, so I said, “let there be crickets” to chirp in the background. Ever since, crickets have been a symbol of conspicuous silence, and after a question they’re synonymous with “no answer.”
BWAAHAAHAAA!!
You crack me up, dear. * wipes a lil’ tear from my third eye*
Dont tell them what we meant by the cockroaches.
hey God
love your blog
i was just wondering if you were a Mac user or a Windows user