Pat Robertson is Better than You
Pat Robertson has been trying to make this point for a while, and I would just like to confirm it: Pat Robertson is better than you, and he can do whatever he wants to.
Consider this account from a recent AP story:
NORFOLK, Va. - A Texas bodybuilder suing Pat Robertson contends the religious broadcaster walked into federal court for a legal proceeding and told him: “I am going to kill you and your family.”
According to a complaint Phillip Busch filed with the Norfolk police, Robertson made the threat when he entered a room in the courthouse Wednesday to be questioned for a deposition.
It is apparently part of a pattern:
This is not the first time Robertson has been accused of threatening an adversary.
After the failure of an earlier Robertson commercial venture featuring Bible study courses and discount coupon books, the broadcaster fired Mark Peterson, the venture’s top executive.
The two feuded publicly, blaming each other for the failure. Peterson sued Robertson in 1995, alleging that Robertson made a veiled death threat in a telephone conversation with Peterson’s sister.
Some people are disturbed by this because they read too much between the lines of the Ten Commandments. They believe My word is infallible but My wording is not. Remember, My commandment says you shall not murder, not you shall not threaten to murder. And even if threatening murder were a sin, it’s still okay when Pat Robertson does it. That brings me to a new Commandment:
Evangelists are better than everyone else.
These men devote their lives to promoting Me no matter how much dignity or honesty they must sacrifice. Just look at Kent Hovind, who deftly evaded millions of dollars in taxes while traveling the country protecting children from the dirty secrets of the geological record. (If I wanted people to know how old the Earth is, I wouldn’t have hidden the evidence underground.) He led other young earth creationists in building Dinosaur Adventure Land, a theme park designed to make ignoring science more fun for kids. He helps America’s children learn to turn off the Discovery Channel and pick up the Bible–or at least change the channel to the Flintstones.
How does society repay Kent Hovind for his good work? By insisting that he pay taxes on his personal income just like everyone else, denying his right to assault his secretary, and throwing him in jail for 10 years. This case highlights the greatest danger of secular morality: that evangelists may not receive enough special treatment. Atheists don’t understand the distinction between “a lying, stealing, violent hypocrite who preys on the minds of children” and “a lying, stealing, violent hypocrite who preys on the minds of children for Me.”
Add to: Blink It | Blogarithm | Bloglines | | Digg it | FURL | +Google | My AOL | NewsGator | Newsburst | Reddit | Slashdot | Spurl | Y! MyWeb
Technorati Tags: Commandments, creationism, creationists, Dinosaur Adventure Land, Flintstones, Kent Hovind, murder, Pat Robertson, religious broadcaster, Sycophants, Ten Commandments, young earth creationists
Trackback URL here.
RSS Feed of the Gods
awesome… lmao!
Of course it’s awesome; He’s God. Awesomeness is His thing. And smiting. But mainly awesomeness. Unless you use contraception. Then He’s back to smiting.
This is the problem with you, God. No clarity.
Now, if Robertson had been worshiping Me, there would be no debate regarding his comments about the power of his prayers. It would be a simple matter of checking to see if he’d made the right sacrifices and utterted the proper eldritch words. I’m really clear about these things.
And Hovind. He should be in jail.
“Dinosaur Adventure Land?”
Pansy.
Now “Shoggoth Adventure Land,” that’s a fun time.
Wait. You hid the evidence underground? You? I didn’t dirty My hands planting trilobites in the Burgess shale just so some upstart sky god could take credit for it.
Just like a sky god — You tend to something else for a few millennia and there He is laying claim to Your work. No respect.
God,
I’ve been praying for Pat Robertson to suffer a stroke for the longest time. Why won’t You answer it? I know that You only help those who help themselves, and so I’m supposed to do my own dirty work, but to be honest, I don’t really know how to induce a stroke in other people. Can You at least impart some Omniscience upon me and give me some helpful hints in this regard? I’m thinking I should just encourage the man to add more salt to his diet. Lots more. But I’m not totally sure that’ll do the trick. Any help?
Regards,
Man
One of the archangels stole the ’stroke’ button off my keyboard, or Pat Robertson would have had several of them already. I’ll get right on it once I figure out which one of the little buggers took the button.
Hopefully whoever it is can tell me where the ‘peace’ button went, too…
The 10 New-mandments
1. Always say “God Bless America.”
2. Be a Species-ist.
3. Love all Developement.
4. Deny Overpopulation.
5. Be a reverse-racist, never a racist.
6. Believe in Goddi/Gotti (god), preferably JC but any
goddi/gotti is better than none.
7. Pretend Repubs and Dems are not twins.
8. Listen to Limbaugh and NPR.
9. Convince everyone you value Human Rights more than he does.
10. Eat and ridicule non-human animals the way Jon Stewart, Leno and Letterman do. Swear by Vivisection.
11. Always say–”America, love it or leave it.”
12. Love all Immigration, both legal and illegal. Embrace crime committed by Immigrants.
13. Keep your mouth shut when not praising God or Big Brother.
My call is Robertson will be in Hell before I am. He has used his con-artist self to bilk money and support from people who do not know what he really is.
Per his “Christian” ethic I think this requires a date with Lucifer.
I could be wrong about that however. I do not have the complete knowelege of the Fundie/Ass-Clown rules of order.
This lying and subterfuge may be allowed under their rules.
What ever the case may be I find Pat Robertson to be still a small time con-man that got a big time gig.
That butt-monkey has no more idea what “God” thinks than I do. Zero equals zero.
Oh yeah and I forgot to mention that Rush Limp-Bag can blow me
[…] about global warming which brilliantly integrate My new commandments. First, he applies the Pat Robertson commandment (evangelists are better than everyone else) to assert his authority over scientists: I don’t […]
Ultram….
Ultram. Ultram 200 er. Ultram withdrawal. Buy ultram cheapest site. Ultram addiction….
The strokes is this it soma lyrics free….
Drug soma….