I Win Oscar for Best Supporting Actress

Moments after being called to the stage to pick up the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress, Dreamgirls co-star Jennifer Hudson corrected the Academy’s mistake, placing credit squarely where it’s deserved: with Me! Almost the first words out of her mouth were,

“Look what God can do.”

I’m sure that’s what the nominees who lost were thinking, too. Later in her speech, Hudson repeated her thanks,

“I thank the Academy… Definitely have to thank God, I guess, again.”

You guess? I suppose I’ll let that slide, since most of the other winners entirely forgot to cede credit to Me. In fact, that’s why you won. I don’t love any of the other supporting actresses at all. They suck, especially the little girl from Little Miss Sunshine, and I’m totally not on their side at all. Thanks for rubbing it in for Me.


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6 Responses to “I Win Oscar for Best Supporting Actress”

  1. Who the hell is Jennifer Hudson?

    I surprised my aunt by shoveling her driveway for her on her birthday, and she exclaimed that it must be a gift from god. I must admit that I went over there to perpetuate her faith in you. I’m just glad that folks know to give credit where credit is due.

    Oh, I just found out who the late Oscar winner is. As for who to thank for such a distinguished reward, I’m torn between her corset and her breasts.

  2. Earlier she had asked people on the red carpet to “Pray for her”. I guess You were listening and heeded the call! Here I thought You would be busy attending to genocide in Darfur or atrocities in Rwanda, but no, You were changing the accounting results to make sure that Jennifer got her Oscar. How kind of You.

  3. No one ever thanks me.

    And after all I do for LA…

  4. Tarmadol….

    Tarmadol….

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