The vapid conservative heroine who condemned atheists on CNN last week has answered their bitter reaction with a post on her blog so insightful it validates almost every blonde joke in the books:
Something happened over the last 24 hours. Beginning last night, my inbox became populated with vile hate-mail from atheists. No skin off my […]

Posted on February 8th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Commandments, Sycophants, Atheists | 28 Comments »

Allow Me to introduce Myself. I am the hopefully not copyrighted deity worhipped by a growing population of Pastafarians in the United States. I exist in the same way that God, Allah, and Zeus exist, but I taste better and come with meatballs.

The meatballs have strengthened My appeal among groups who shun other […]

Posted on February 8th, 2007 by FlyingSpaghettiMonster
Filed under: Atheists | 11 Comments »

Some of you may remember Reverend Ted Haggard from Richard Dawkins‘ documentary The Root of All Evil, in which Pastor Ted valiantly made an ass of himself in front of an international audience in My name. Until recently, he was president of the National Association of Evangelicals and an advisor of President Bush.
Unfortunately, the […]

Posted on February 7th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Going to Hell | 11 Comments »

International eyes have recently fallen on Kenya as a result of opposition by My followers to a museum’s presentation of Turkana Boy as a distant ancestor of humanity. So far the skeleton has been sealed in a vault, but now scientific radicals are trying to allow the public to see it, even though it […]

Posted on February 7th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Mysterious Ways, Sycophants | 11 Comments »

So, it turns out many of my followers like to cut up their children.

On a positive note, I’m glad Iraq and some other Arab states have such a free and permissive society. Where else can a guy scalp his kid in public without being arrested? Where else is a man allowed to exercise […]

Posted on February 7th, 2007 by Allah
Filed under: Worshippers | 1 Comment »

Ever wonder why I made stupid people?
It’s because they’re so entertaining and loyal to me. I make just enough smart people to keep civilization from falling apart, but they hardly ever come to church or give me money. So I fill the rest of the ranks with people like conservative columnist Debbie Schlussel. […]

Posted on February 6th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Prayers, Sycophants, Atheists | 12 Comments »

I’ve really been getting the short end of the stick lately. Hot on the heels of yesterday’s news that I’m making a modest comeback in Athens, a website called the Blasphemy Challenge comes along and rewards people for proclaiming that I don’t exist. Take this quote of one young person’s testimony from the […]

Posted on February 6th, 2007 by Zeus
Filed under: Blasphemy | 4 Comments »

A disappointing story on Yahoo News begins:
Tens of thousands of French schools and universities have received copies of a Turkish book refuting Darwin’s theory of evolution and describing it as “the true source of terrorism.”
Apparently some sorely misguided followers of Mine, who are ashamed of My endorsement of jihad, are trying to let Charles Darwin […]

Posted on February 6th, 2007 by Allah
Filed under: Worshippers, Blasphemy | 1 Comment »

Over at WorldNetDaily, there’s a new editorial by Chuck Norris on who the founding fathers would support as the next President of the United States. Norris is uniquely qualified to comment on American history because he played Walker, Texas Ranger on television.
He determines, based on a sermon from the year 1790 which contains what […]

Posted on February 6th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Smiting, Sycophants | 3 Comments »

CNN is reporting that, after about 17 long centuries of insignificance, I’m finally getting some attention in Athens:
Watched by curious onlookers, some 20 worshippers gathered next to the ruins of the temple for a celebration organized by Ellinais, a year-old Athens-based group that is campaigning to revive old religious practices from the era when Greece […]

Posted on February 5th, 2007 by Zeus
Filed under: Worshippers | 2 Comments »