I think some Christians saw Fight Club. They apparently left the movie thinking that the one thing that could have made Tyler Durden cooler is a personal relationship with Jesus. So far I agree — a little more prayer and that movie would have been perfect. I started implementing Project Mayhem thousands of years before [...]

Posted on March 15th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Worshippers | 21 Comments »

Ever wonder why you never see angels or other agents of Mine meddling directly in your affairs? After all, if I care so much about your belief, why shouldn’t I send My immortal servants to indisputably negate all doubt of My existence? To “test” your faith? WRONG. My messengers are with you all the time. [...]

Posted on March 10th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Mysterious Ways, Worshippers | 167 Comments »

I noticed in the comments of a Retrospectacle post about God’s financial woes that several people are disappointed He never brought them ponies to meet their childhood requests. I have just been informed that this was supposed to be My responsibility; apparently I am the god of horses as well as the sea. I spoke [...]

Posted on March 5th, 2007 by Poseidon
Filed under: Commandments, Oops | 16 Comments »

Reverend Jerry Falwell (quite possibly pictured at right with a friend), who holds sway over millions of Christians because his affair with Ted Haggard is not yet public, has made recent headlines by warning his followers that global warming is “Satan’s attempt to redirect the church’s primary focus” from evangelism to environmentalism. I’m skeptical. How [...]

Posted on March 5th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Commandments, Going to Hell, Sycophants | 17 Comments »

Via the column of pudgy conservative Tony Phyrillas on NewsVine, I see that the U.S. Mint has snubbed Me. This is one of the new $1 coins: In God We Trust appears on the edge of the coin, not the front! Tony shares My outrage:

Posted on March 2nd, 2007 by God
Filed under: Blasphemy, Commandments | 28 Comments »

Recently Stephen Colbert set a great example by praying to Me on the air to give thanks for all the prayers made on His behalf on Thursday, February 22nd. That was Stephen Colbert Prayer Day, a theological holiday declared by the Media Leader Prayer Calendar, a coalition of Christians who hope to reform the media [...]

Posted on March 2nd, 2007 by God
Filed under: Prayers | 14 Comments »

This is so embarrassing. I’ve learned via Pharyngula that this past Monday 21-year-old Indiana resident Kevin Russell tried to cash a check I wrote him for $50,000 and it apparently bounced: Kevin Russell found out it’s not easy trying to cash a check from God. The 21-year-old man was arrested Monday after he tried to [...]

Posted on March 1st, 2007 by God
Filed under: Oops | 44 Comments »