Recently Stephen Colbert set a great example by praying to Me on the air to give thanks for all the prayers made on His behalf on Thursday, February 22nd. That was Stephen Colbert Prayer Day, a theological holiday declared by the Media Leader Prayer Calendar, a coalition of Christians who hope to reform the media by asking Me to do it for them.

The leader of the prayer group wrote:

I call upon you to pray earnestly for these people—both media leaders and cultural influencers. Pray for God’s personal impact on their lives, for His guidance and wisdom for them, for them to come to a deeper relationship with Him. Pray for God to infuse the decisions of these people with a strong, moral dimension and with a commitment to use the mighty power of media to uplift, inspire, and unify.

The Prayer Day was a huge success; I received exactly 126,231,638 prayers for Stephen Colbert, not counting the other hundred million from women asking Me to set them up on a date.

But let Me tell you, Stephen Colbert doesn’t need My wisdom. He doesn’t need My revealed truth because he can reveal his own. He is never wrong even when he is, and if he were he would have the balls not to admit it. Why would such a man need advice from the God who couldn’t even get the beaver right on His first try (see left)?

Nevertheless, Mr. Colbert was more than willing to trust Me with his own prayer:

Lord,May the people who prayed for me last Thursday have their decisions infused with a strong moral dimension. Namely to pray for me again next year. And maybe bump Larry King’s prayer day so I get two… just thinkin’ out loud. Anyway, for Thine is the Kingdom, amen. WOOOOOO! Jesus #1! Jesus #1! Jesus #1! EAT IT, BUDDHA! ‘Cause you seem to have eaten anything else.

So I don’t have any wisdom for Stephen, but wisdom is for liberals anyway. I can do event better: a church to pray for Stephen Colbert year round. I give you the Colbert Church of Christ (see the Google map if you don’t believe Me) complete with worshipers, sermons, and Ladies Bible Study on Thursday.

Hopefully these favors will hold Stephen Colbert over until his death at an unspecified 3-digit age, at which time he will take up residence in the mansion I’m having built for him in My court in the Kingdom of Heaven. It’s right across the street from Mine, in a spacious lot between Leonard Nimoy’s and Gary Gygax’s. As I write, Leonardo da Vinci is working on a sixty-foot statue of Tek Jansen for Colbert’s front yard, wrought of solid gold except for the balls, which are titanium. The atrium has a glass floor with a spectacular view of hell so that Stephen can taunt sinners and watch the Bill O’Reilly’s show.

---

Add to: Blink It | Blogarithm | Bloglines | | Digg it | FURL | +Google | My AOL | NewsGator | Newsburst | Reddit | Slashdot | Spurl | Y! MyWeb

Technorati Tags: Bill OReilly, Colbert Report, heaven, larry king, Prayers, prayer calendar, prayer group, revealed truth, stephen colbert, thine is the kingdom

Trackback URL here.