You may have noticed God hasn’t been around much lately, or at least He hasn’t been posting here. Actually, He has been altogether absent from Heaven, not just the public relations office. As you know, He’s very, very old, and He’s prone to just wandering off for long periods of time. Usually we find Him down by the pond throwing rocks at frogs, but sometimes He gets lost in the woods and it takes weeks or even years to find Him. Remember World War II?
I’m just a “whippersnapper,” as the old folks say, made up by some college kid with too much time on his hands several thousand years after He was first made up by a goat-herder who was in basically the same situation. So far be it for Me to pass judgement on My elder deity, but some part of Me wishes He would just retire and turn the reins over to Somebody more competent, Somebody who would violently smite every newscaster who dares utter the words “Paris Hilton” on the air, Somebody who would have incinerated Jerry Falwell’s funeral-goers with a fiery meteor more massive than Falwell himself. Somebody with the balls — or meatballs, as the case may be — to enforce sanity on this world.
Unfortnately, that won’t be happening anytime soon. God stumbled back in this morning, stinking of fungus and asking what day it is. He said He’s going to post His thoughts on some of the events He missed. So stay tuned.
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