Hey everyone, Uncle God wrote this months ago but couldn’t find a disciple to type it up for him.  He’s not so good with computers.  He makes a typo, He throws a wrathful lightning bolt, He waits 5 weeks for HP to recover His damaged hard drive.  You know how it goes.  –Jesus
Many true believers […]

Posted on March 28th, 2008 by God
Filed under: Blasphemy, Mysterious Ways, Sycophants, Atheists | 3 Comments »

Tonight MSNBC aired a lengthy interview with serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer and his father.
When asked by his father when he first realized people are accountable for their actions, he replied:
“Well, thanks to you [his father] for sending that, uh, Creation Science, uh, material, because I always, I always believed the lie that evolution is […]

Posted on July 11th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Uncategorized | 8 Comments »

Creationist criminal Kent Hovind, who is serving a much-publicized prison sentence for large-scale tax evasion, has just published an alleged conversation with Me. I know I’ve made Myself scarce lately, but this slander forces Me to break My silence and clear the record. I am not, nor have I ever been, incarcerated in […]

Posted on June 13th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Blasphemy, Sycophants | 31 Comments »

I think some Christians saw Fight Club.
They apparently left the movie thinking that the one thing that could have made Tyler Durden cooler is a personal relationship with Jesus. So far I agree — a little more prayer and that movie would have been perfect. I started implementing Project Mayhem thousands of years […]

Posted on March 15th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Worshippers | 17 Comments »

Ever wonder why you never see angels or other agents of Mine meddling directly in your affairs? After all, if I care so much about your belief, why shouldn’t I send My immortal servants to indisputably negate all doubt of My existence? To “test” your faith?
WRONG.
My messengers are with you all the time. […]

Posted on March 10th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Worshippers, Mysterious Ways | 159 Comments »

Reverend Jerry Falwell (quite possibly pictured at right with a friend), who holds sway over millions of Christians because his affair with Ted Haggard is not yet public, has made recent headlines by warning his followers that global warming is
“Satan’s attempt to redirect the church’s primary focus” from evangelism to environmentalism.
I’m skeptical. How would […]

Posted on March 5th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Commandments, Sycophants, Going to Hell | 16 Comments »

Via the column of pudgy conservative Tony Phyrillas on NewsVine, I see that the U.S. Mint has snubbed Me. This is one of the new $1 coins:

In God We Trust appears on the edge of the coin, not the front! Tony shares My outrage:

Posted on March 2nd, 2007 by God
Filed under: Blasphemy, Commandments | 23 Comments »

Recently Stephen Colbert set a great example by praying to Me on the air to give thanks for all the prayers made on His behalf on Thursday, February 22nd. That was Stephen Colbert Prayer Day, a theological holiday declared by the Media Leader Prayer Calendar, a coalition of Christians who hope to reform the […]

Posted on March 2nd, 2007 by God
Filed under: Prayers | 7 Comments »

This is so embarrassing. I’ve learned via Pharyngula that this past Monday 21-year-old Indiana resident Kevin Russell tried to cash a check I wrote him for $50,000 and it apparently bounced:
Kevin Russell found out it’s not easy trying to cash a check from God. The 21-year-old man was arrested Monday after he tried to […]

Posted on March 1st, 2007 by God
Filed under: Oops | 38 Comments »

John Gibson, host of The Big Story on Fox News, is the latest in a series of mainstream reporters sentenced to an eternity in hell for unabashedly obsessive coverage of the Anna Nicole Smith story. Some liberal watchdogs have criticized this transcript from Gibson’s radio show:

Posted on February 26th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Going to Hell | 13 Comments »