A Lost Gospel re: Virginia Tech Massacre

Hey everyone, Uncle God wrote this months ago but couldn’t find a disciple to type it up for him.  He’s not so good with computers.  He makes a typo, He throws a wrathful lightning bolt, He waits 5 weeks for HP to recover His damaged hard drive.  You know how it goes.  –Jesus Many true [...]

Wonder where God has been?

You may have noticed God hasn’t been around much lately, or at least He hasn’t been posting here. Actually, He has been altogether absent from Heaven, not just the public relations office. As you know, He’s very, very old, and He’s prone to just wandering off for long periods of time. Usually we find Him [...]

Stop Squishing My Messengers

Ever wonder why you never see angels or other agents of Mine meddling directly in your affairs? After all, if I care so much about your belief, why shouldn’t I send My immortal servants to indisputably negate all doubt of My existence? To “test” your faith? WRONG. My messengers are with you all the time. [...]

I Made the “Turkana Boy” Skeleton Just to Screw with You

International eyes have recently fallen on Kenya as a result of opposition by My followers to a museum’s presentation of Turkana Boy as a distant ancestor of humanity. So far the skeleton has been sealed in a vault, but now scientific radicals are trying to allow the public to see it, even though it conflicts [...]

Hi Everybody, God Here

I feel a brief introduction is necessary. For thousands of years, people have been speaking out on My behalf. The only one I had actually authorized, Nicholas Standish, tried to spread My word on the corner of Cromwell and Fulham in London in 1926. In retrospect, I should have picked someone with better hygiene, someone [...]