Hey everyone, Uncle God wrote this months ago but couldn’t find a disciple to type it up for him.  He’s not so good with computers.  He makes a typo, He throws a wrathful lightning bolt, He waits 5 weeks for HP to recover His damaged hard drive.  You know how it goes.  –Jesus
Many true believers […]

Posted on March 28th, 2008 by God
Filed under: Blasphemy, Mysterious Ways, Sycophants, Atheists | 3 Comments »

Creationist criminal Kent Hovind, who is serving a much-publicized prison sentence for large-scale tax evasion, has just published an alleged conversation with Me. I know I’ve made Myself scarce lately, but this slander forces Me to break My silence and clear the record. I am not, nor have I ever been, incarcerated in […]

Posted on June 13th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Blasphemy, Sycophants | 31 Comments »

Reverend Jerry Falwell (quite possibly pictured at right with a friend), who holds sway over millions of Christians because his affair with Ted Haggard is not yet public, has made recent headlines by warning his followers that global warming is
“Satan’s attempt to redirect the church’s primary focus” from evangelism to environmentalism.
I’m skeptical. How would […]

Posted on March 5th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Commandments, Sycophants, Going to Hell | 14 Comments »

Moments after being called to the stage to pick up the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress, Dreamgirls co-star Jennifer Hudson corrected the Academy’s mistake, placing credit squarely where it’s deserved: with Me! Almost the first words out of her mouth were,
“Look what God can do.”
I’m sure that’s what the nominees who lost were thinking, […]

Posted on February 25th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Sycophants | 5 Comments »

Pat Robertson has been trying to make this point for a while, and I would just like to confirm it: Pat Robertson is better than you, and he can do whatever he wants to.
Consider this account from a recent AP story:
NORFOLK, Va. - A Texas bodybuilder suing Pat Robertson contends the religious broadcaster […]

Posted on February 19th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Commandments, Sycophants | 17 Comments »

Senator John McCain built his senatorial career flirting with moderation. I thought I would never forgive him.
Recently, he’s come around. He gave a commencement speech at Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University, a pretty much unaccredited institution so Christian it even creeps Me out. And now he has agreed to deliver a keynote […]

Posted on February 13th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Sycophants | 3 Comments »

WorldNetDaily commentator Vox Day would. Vox, whose real identity is Theodore Beale and whose email address is theo@eternalwarriors.com, responds to the following question:
If your god revealed to you in a set of flawless communications you could not dispute that you should kill every child you see under the age of 2, would you?
You might want […]

Posted on February 13th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Smiting, Sycophants | 19 Comments »

CNN is reporting on the latest medical miracle feel-good story for which I, again, have received full credit:
NEW YORK (AP) — Daniel Walker was on his final lap jogging in his high school gym class when he collapsed, his flawed heart giving out on him.
More than four days later, his heart at a standstill, kept […]

Posted on February 12th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Oops, Sycophants | 12 Comments »

The vapid conservative heroine who condemned atheists on CNN last week has answered their bitter reaction with a post on her blog so insightful it validates almost every blonde joke in the books:
Something happened over the last 24 hours. Beginning last night, my inbox became populated with vile hate-mail from atheists. No skin off my […]

Posted on February 8th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Commandments, Sycophants, Atheists | 28 Comments »

International eyes have recently fallen on Kenya as a result of opposition by My followers to a museum’s presentation of Turkana Boy as a distant ancestor of humanity. So far the skeleton has been sealed in a vault, but now scientific radicals are trying to allow the public to see it, even though it […]

Posted on February 7th, 2007 by God
Filed under: Mysterious Ways, Sycophants | 12 Comments »