Allow Me to introduce Myself. I am the hopefully not copyrighted deity worhipped by a growing population of Pastafarians in the United States. I exist in the same way that God, Allah, and Zeus exist, but I taste better and come with meatballs.

The meatballs have strengthened My appeal among groups who shun other gods. Atheists, agnostics, and other rabble who did not fall for Jesus’ shtick are receptive to My noodly appendage. As a token of appreciation toward My constituents, I have commandeered the Blogroll of the Gods and added many atheist links, including the amazing auto-updating Atheist Blogroll itself.

Disclaimer: Like all gods, I show Myself to the world slathered in many different sauces. The seasoning I have taken on here should not be confused with that on My official website, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, any more than God’s presence on this blog should be associated with His representation in the Vatican.

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Some of you may remember Reverend Ted Haggard from Richard Dawkins‘ documentary The Root of All Evil, in which Pastor Ted valiantly made an ass of himself in front of an international audience in My name. Until recently, he was president of the National Association of Evangelicals and an advisor of President Bush.

Unfortunately, the liberal media has overlooked the way he nobly sacrificed his dignity for Me, preferring to focus on this little bit of dirt they dug up on him. Ted Haggard resigned as pastor of the evangelical New Life Church after it came to light that he cheated on his wife to enjoy a drugged up orgy with a male prostitute and then lied about it.

Right now I have one of heaven’s accountants going over that sentence to tally up exactly how many sins are involved. In the meantime, Ted has already begun to atone, first things first:

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