There was some unfortunate confusion in Colorado recently when 53-year old grandmother Carol Pappas (pictured right) stabbed her toddler granddaughter 62 times with a butcher knife based on spiritual advice from a goose. In light of my recent praise of Theodore Beale for his willingness to whack wee ones on My word, I feel obligated to issue a clarification: butchering babies is only okay if I, God, tell you to, not if a goose tells you to.

Apparently the jury did not agree.

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