Ted Haggard has his Priorities Straight!
Some of you may remember Reverend Ted Haggard from Richard Dawkins‘ documentary The Root of All Evil, in which Pastor Ted valiantly made an ass of himself in front of an international audience in My name. Until recently, he was president of the National Association of Evangelicals and an advisor of President Bush.
Unfortunately, the liberal media has overlooked the way he nobly sacrificed his dignity for Me, preferring to focus on this little bit of dirt they dug up on him. Ted Haggard resigned as pastor of the evangelical New Life Church after it came to light that he cheated on his wife to enjoy a drugged up orgy with a male prostitute and then lied about it.
Right now I have one of heaven’s accountants going over that sentence to tally up exactly how many sins are involved. In the meantime, Ted has already begun to atone, first things first:
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