CNN is reporting that, after about 17 long centuries of insignificance, I’m finally getting some attention in Athens:

Watched by curious onlookers, some 20 worshippers gathered next to the ruins of the temple for a celebration organized by Ellinais, a year-old Athens-based group that is campaigning to revive old religious practices from the era when Greece was a fount of education and philosophy.

Today, 20 worshippers… tomorrow, the world! I plan to launch an aggressive marketing campaign with a three part strategy:

Read more…

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Did you all like the weather I stirred up for Super Bowl XLI? Dry, sunny football games are boring as Eden.

After the game, which the Indianapolis Colts won 29-17, their owner, their head coach Tony Dungy, and quarterback Peyton Manning all gave the credit for the win to… Yours Truly! Thanks guys, for remembering to give Me all the credit, and not holding a grunge after My slip last night with the tornado next door. You can FedEx the Lombardi trophy to:

God
1281 Jesus Street
Heaven, 58281-0842

My win comes as a little bit of a surprise. I expected Manning to thank his receivers and offensive line, or even Rex Grossman, but not me — especially after I blew that Adam Vinatieri field goal off course just before halftime. Then again, what do I know? I was rooting for the Bears.

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Some of you may have read about the 3 million Muslims praying for peace in Bangladesh. My answer is:

No.

I don’t do peace, so stop praying for it. You’ll have to figure this one out for yourselves.

I’m not going to hold My breath…

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I found this story about the Florida tornadoes this morning.

First, sorry about the tornadoes. Sometimes I’m making it rain and I just get a little carried away with the clouds and all. I probably should have been more careful, but I was kind of distracted watching a late-night rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond. Anyway, long story short, I flattened the Church of Me in Lady Lake, Florida.

Read more…

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I feel a brief introduction is necessary. For thousands of years, people have been speaking out on My behalf. The only one I had actually authorized, Nicholas Standish, tried to spread My word on the corner of Cromwell and Fulham in London in 1926. In retrospect, I should have picked someone with better hygiene, someone less likely to be stoned to death. But I digress.

Today I was sitting in front of the new 200-inch plasma TV in my living room (we get all the cool gadgets sooner in Heaven) watching the Super Bowl with Allah and the Flying Spaghetti Monster. We saw this commercial for cheap domain names on GodAddy.com and I thought, “You know what? We could start a blog!” I’m not great with computers, but if Britney Spears can have a blog, anybody can do it. I was disappointed that “God.com” was already taken, but c’est la vie, eh?

I don’t know why I never spoke out sooner. Laziness, I guess. Creating the Universe can really poop a guy out. I just never felt like getting out of My cozy throne in Heaven to putz around the campaign trail, you know? But now that we’ve got the Internet I can spread my word from my own desk, and with blogging software I don’t even need to learn HTML.

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